If You Misplaced A Coffin Full Of Weapons, A Florida Sheriff Would Like To Speak With You
Someone in Florida right now is probably wondering, "Where did I put that coffin filled with weapons?"
If you happen to be the owner of this weapon-filled casket, the police would like to let you know that it's safe and in their custody. Feel free to pick it up if you don't mind answering a whole lot of questions.
A Florida Fish and Wildlife officer found the closed wooden casket in De Leon Springs and contacted the Volusia County Sheriff's department. Once the coffin was opened they found 46 items that ranged from weapons to household appliances… that could easily be used as weapons. The full list is here but we've selected some of the bizarre highlights:
- Ball with metal spikes
- Small red square punching bag
- Black leather pouch
- Double-sided axe with handle
- Baseball bat with numerous screws attached
- Broken yellow dart
- Wooden handle with attached rusted knife blade
- Black stick with attached chain
- Silver metal sword blade with missing hand grip
- Large pair of black metal tongs
The police haven't identified who it belongs to but our imagination has been running wild with speculation. So we present...
7 (Unlikely) Explanations Behind The Florida Weapon Coffin
- A person who did a lot of planning for the zombie apocalypse but is now woefully unprepared and must start rebuilding stash all over again.
- Ted Nugent is furiously looking around his house wondering where he put his coffin-shaped toy chest.
- A prop intern for The Walking Dead is soooooo fired.
- A person preparing to become a well-armed zombie in the event of a zombie apocalypse… not realizing that zombies cannot use weapons.
- "So that's where I put my baseball bat with numerous screws attached," said a Teenage Mutant Ninja Alligator.
- Van Helsing is in for quite a shock next time he barges in on Dracula unannounced.
- How people prepared for the future before Everplans existed.
- All The Information You Need To Share About...It’s incredibly sad to think of our pets without us, but here’s your chance...Read more
- Estate Planning For Your PetsAmerica is approaching a belly rub crisis. Or, in the case of cats, that...Read more
- What To Say To Someone Grieving The Loss Of A PetFor most people, it’s not just a dog, cat, or other domesticated animal....Read more
- When To Discontinue Treatment For Sick PetsPets rely on us for food, shelter, and for us to make all their health...Read more