This Valentine’s Day, you could go the standard route and buy a box of chocolates, bouquet of flowers, heart-patterned boxers, and thoughtful card. Or you could get creative with the holiday based on a bow-wielding Greek god named Cupid whose arrows fill intended targets with uncontrollable desire.
The following gifts might not inspire “uncontrollable desire,” but they should put a smile on the object of your affection’s face this V-day.
Have A Heart…Made Of Chocolate
This edible ticker weighs in at a pound. If you’d like to get your sweetheart* a variety of internal organs, you can buy an entire box of anatomical correct chocolates. Never has learning anatomy been so delicious. [Buy it at Morkes Chocolates]
*pun completely intended
Anatomical Gummy Heart
Like the chocolate heart mentioned above, this also weighs a pound. So. Much. Gummy. [Buy it at Candy Warehouse]
This mug will get your special someone's heart racing even more than a strong cup of whatever has caffeine. [Buy it at Cafepress]
This starts as an unassuming cute kitty-cat candle. Until you burn it. Then it reveals the metallic skeleton within, which is still kinda cute. [Buy it at Pyro Pet Candles]
This pillow isn’t just humerus, it’s hilarious. [Buy it at Redbubble]
The Most Romantic Toilet Paper Ever
Toilet paper that say “I Love You From Top To Bottom.” This is how true romantics roll. [Buy it at Just Paper Roses]
Star Wars Fans Rejoice
Fans of the force will freak out if they see these Han and Leia towels hanging in the bathroom on love day. Trust us.
Turn your toilet into a motion-sensor light show! This $20 gadget easily attaches to any toilet and will save your eyeballs from being blinded in the middle of the night. [Buy it at Amazon]
Bleeding Heart T-Shirt
The person who receives this will absolutely heart you. [Buy it at CafePress].
Plush Skull Slippers
Comfort, thy name is skull slippers. [Buy it at Amazon]
True Crime Earrings
These "Darling Dahlia" earrings take a famous, unsolved case from history and put it on your ears. [Buy it at Etsy]
“I’ve fallen for you and can’t get up.” [Buy it at Etsy]
Tyrannosaurus Rex Will Eat Your Heart Out. Literally.
"If you give me your heart this Valentine's Day, I'll eat it." [Buy it at Etsy]
1 in 10
"There's almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only stand around 10 of them. You are one of those 10..." [Buy it at Etsy]
"I signed my Donor Card." "I'm giving you my heart!" [Buy it at Etsy]
"Braaains." "I love you to pieces." [Buy it at Etsy]
Wait For It...
"No one will ever find your body... As attractive as I do!" [Buy it at Etsy]
"You are hotter than a witch burned at the stake." (Ed. note: Aww, you really feel that way. Let’s make some s’mores.) [Buy it at Etsy]
Everyone’s a little weird in their own way. It’s just a matter of finding the right weird for you. [Buy it at Etsy]
Super Bonus Item: A Bouquet of Mini-Unicorns
This isn’t morbid or sassy. It’s simply magical. Flowers eventually die. Unicorns live forever. [Buy it at ThinkGeek]