20 Slightly Offbeat Valentine’s Day Gifts For The Love Of Your Life

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Perfect things for that special someone with a morbid or sassy sense of humor.

This Valentine’s Day, you could go the standard route and buy a box of chocolates, bouquet of flowers, heart-patterned boxers, and thoughtful card. Or you could get creative with the holiday based on a bow-wielding Greek god named Cupid whose arrows fill intended targets with uncontrollable desire.

The following gifts might not inspire “uncontrollable desire,” but they should put a smile on the object of your affection’s face this V-day.

Have A Heart…Made Of Chocolate

anatomical chocolate heart for valentines day

This edible ticker weighs in at a pound. If you’d like to get your sweetheart* a variety of internal organs, you can buy an entire box of anatomical correct chocolates. Never has learning anatomy been so delicious. [Buy it at Morkes Chocolates]

*pun completely intended


Anatomical Gummy Heart


Like the chocolate heart mentioned above, this also weighs a pound. So. Much. Gummy. [Buy it at Candy Warehouse]

Love Mug

true love mug

This mug will get your special someone's heart racing even more than a strong cup of whatever has caffeine. [Buy it at Cafepress]

Pyro Pets

pyro pet candles

This starts as an unassuming cute kitty-cat candle. Until you burn it. Then it reveals the metallic skeleton within, which is still kinda cute. [Buy it at Pyro Pet Candles]

Bone Pillow

humerus bone throw pillow

This pillow isn’t just humerus, it’s hilarious. [Buy it at Redbubble]

The Most Romantic Toilet Paper Ever

romantic toilet paper

Toilet paper that say “I Love You From Top To Bottom.” This is how true romantics roll. [Buy it at Just Paper Roses]

Star Wars Fans Rejoice

star wars hand towels

Fans of the force will freak out if they see these Han and Leia towels hanging in the bathroom on love day. Trust us.

[Buy it at ThinkGeek]

Light Bowl

toilet lights

Turn your toilet into a motion-sensor light show! This $20 gadget easily attaches to any toilet and will save your eyeballs from being blinded in the middle of the night. [Buy it at Amazon]

Bleeding Heart T-Shirt

bleeding heart t-shirt

The person who receives this will absolutely heart you. [Buy it at CafePress].

Plush Skull Slippers

thinkgeek plush skull slippers

Comfort, thy name is skull slippers. [Buy it at Amazon]

True Crime Earrings

darling dahlia earrings

These "Darling Dahlia" earrings take a famous, unsolved case from history and put it on your ears. [Buy it at Etsy]

Medic Alert

fallen for you and can't get up valentine's day card

“I’ve fallen for you and can’t get up.” [Buy it at Etsy]

Tyrannosaurus Rex Will Eat Your Heart Out. Literally.

trex valentines day card

"If you give me your heart this Valentine's Day, I'll eat it." [Buy it at Etsy]

1 in 10

valentines day card one in a billion

"There's almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only stand around 10 of them. You are one of those 10..." [Buy it at Etsy]

Donor Card

valentine's day donor card

"I signed my Donor Card." "I'm giving you my heart!" [Buy it at Etsy]

Zombie Love

zombie love valentine's day card

"Braaains." "I love you to pieces." [Buy it at Etsy]

Wait For It...

no one will find your body valentine's day card

"No one will ever find your body... As attractive as I do!" [Buy it at Etsy]

Witching Card

witch valentine's day card

"You are hotter than a witch burned at the stake." (Ed. note: Aww, you really feel that way. Let’s make some s’mores.) [Buy it at Etsy]

True Love?

werid as me valentines day card

Everyone’s a little weird in their own way. It’s just a matter of finding the right weird for you. [Buy it at Etsy]

Super Bonus Item: A Bouquet of Mini-Unicorns

thinkgeek plush unicorn bouquet

This isn’t morbid or sassy. It’s simply magical. Flowers eventually die. Unicorns live forever. [Buy it at ThinkGeek]

Gene Newman

Editorial Director, Everplans

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