This Valentine’s Day, you could go the standard route and buy a box of chocolates, bouquet of flowers, heart-patterned boxers, and thoughtful card. Or you could get creative with the holiday based on a bow-wielding Greek god named Cupid whose arrows fill intended targets with uncontrollable desire.
The following gifts might not inspire “uncontrollable desire,” but they should put a smile on the object of your affection’s face this V-day.
Have A Heart…Made Of Chocolate
This edible ticker weighs in at a pound. If you’d like to get your sweetheart* a variety of internal organs, you can buy an entire box of anatomically correct chocolates. Never has learning anatomy been so delicious. [Buy it at Morkes Chocolates]
*pun completely intended
Awww, So Cute...WAIT, WHAT THE...???
These Feisty Pets start out as an adorable, sweet little plush faces...until you squeeze them. Sorta like us before our morning coffee. [Buy It at Think Geek]
Anatomical Gummy Heart
Like the chocolate heart mentioned above, this also weighs a pound. So. Much. Gummy. [Buy it at Candy Warehouse]
This mug will get your special someone's heart racing even more than a strong cup of whatever has caffeine. [Buy it at Cafepress]
This starts as an unassuming cute kitty-cat candle. Until you burn it. Then it reveals the metallic skeleton within, which is still kinda cute. [Buy it at Pyro Pet Candles]
This pillow isn’t just humerus, it’s hilarious. [Buy it at Redbubble]
The Most Romantic Toilet Paper Ever
Toilet paper that say “I Love You From Top To Bottom.” This is how true romantics roll. [Buy it at Just Paper Roses]
Star Wars Fans Rejoice
Fans of the force will freak out if they see these Han and Leia towels hanging in the bathroom on love day. Trust us.
Turn your toilet into a motion-sensor light show! This $11 gadget easily attaches to any toilet and will save your eyeballs from being blinded in the middle of the night. [Buy it at Amazon]
Bleeding Heart T-Shirt
The person who receives this will absolutely heart you. [Buy it at CafePress].
Plush Heart Slippers
Comfort, thy name is big heart slippers. [Buy it at Amazon]
"You're my significant otter." [Buy it at Etsy]
Cheese Is Quite Delicious
“I love you almost as much as I love cheese.” [Buy it at Etsy]
Microbes Of Love
If only real microbes were this cute and non-threatening. This bouquet is simply magical because flowers eventually die. Microbes live forever. [Buy it at ThinkGeek]
"I Promise to Watch Every episode of ____________ With you" [Buy it at Etsy]
"I signed my Donor Card." "I'm giving you my heart!" [Buy it at Etsy]
Sweet & Sour
"Turns out I like you more than I originally planned." [Buy it at Etsy]
Wear A Heart Around Your Neck
Anatomical hearts are all the rage, not only in one's body but in pendant form as well. [Buy it at Amazon]
"Thanks for loving me even though I'm grumpy." [Buy it at Etsy]
Everyone’s a little weird in their own way. It’s just a matter of finding the right weird for you. [Buy it at Etsy]
Bonus: The Bacon Bouquet
It's a bouquet. Made of bacon. It's a bit pricey (they start at over $109), but, we repeat: It's a bouquet made of bacon. And can you really put a price on baco...we mean, love? [Buy it at Bacon Boxes]