10 Horribly Inappropriate Things That Happened At Funerals
The flowers could be wrong, the eulogizer might lose notecards….or someone could show up and punch the deceased in the face.
Like most important events, no matter how well you plan there’s always a possibility for the unexpected. Sometimes it’s a simple or unfortunate mistake. Other times, like the ones listed below, it’s much, much worse.
Someone Punched The Corpse
Orlando police were handed an especially weird assault case when a man walked into an open casket funeral ceremony at Harvest Baptist Church and proceeded to punch the corpse. His motive was a total mystery. Cops arrested the assaulter on the scene and brought him before a judge, who set his bond at $350 and immediately ordered a psych evaluation.
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
The family of Simon Lewis and his infant son had thoughtfully planned a video memorial for their funeral in Cardiff — but that wasn’t what played on the screen. Mourners gathered at Thornhill Crematorium were instead subjected to nearly four minutes of pornographic footage. The incident was blamed on a newly-installed smart television, which may have picked up the offending broadcast via Wi-Fi.
The Funeral Home Switched The Bodies
When Janin Holsey first saw her husband Kenneth Roberts in his casket at a Philadelphia funeral home, she was taken aback — because it wasn’t him. Employees at the James L. Hawkins Funeral Home initially assured her that the man wearing her husband’s clothes was indeed Roberts, and that he just looked different due to the embalming chemicals. But as the services went on, the staff was forced to admit that they’d accidentally switched corpses. The shock was too much for many of the mourners; two were sent to the hospital due to seizures and asthma attacks. To make matters worse, when the real Mr. Roberts finally arrived, his legs were hanging out of the casket.
The Funeral Home Switched The Bodies… And Cremated The Wrong One
A similar fiasco ensued at Buckmiller Brothers Funeral Home, when Ralph Trucillo reported that a different person was lying in his mother’s casket. The Connecticut funeral home had mixed up two bodies and mistakenly cremated Aurelie Germaine Tuccillo. The state police and Department of Public Health both opened investigations in the aftermath, while the family told reporters they were “traumatized" by the incident.
Trouble began at a Myrtle Beach funeral when Corey Caradell Bellamy “kind of lost control” and started shouting and throwing chairs, apparently angry with the final plans for the deceased. His outburst not only upset the other funeral-goers, who called the police, but his own heart as well. While the officer on the scene called for EMTs, one guest said Bellamy should be arrested. This spurred another funeral attendee, Jasmine Shante Chaney, to run over and attack that man. She was arrested for assault and battery, and Bellamy was taken to a hospital for evaluation.
Funeral Selfies Are A Real Thing
Most etiquette experts would agree that funerals and social media don’t mix, but a story in The Telegraph reported that “one third of mourners have admitted to taking "selfies" at funerals, with a majority admitting to posting the image online to garner sympathy.” Sites like Selfies at Funerals and #funeral prove that a shocking amount of people think it’s acceptable to take pictures of themselves during the services. The trend is so pervasive that the Chatttanooga Times Free Press gave these snapshots a horrifying nickname: “corpsies.”
We Just Can’t Even With This One
Christine Decker (formerly Dale Decker) suffers from the rare condition known as “Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder,” which means they can experience dozens of unprompted orgasms in a single day. What’s this got to do with funerals? According to the video above, while kneeling before their father’s casket at the funeral they had nine orgasms in front of their entire family.
An Undertaker Lost the Hearse And The Body
Over in Germany, an undertaker made headlines when he lost the hearse he was driving… along with the corpse inside it. At the time of the accident the man was in the middle of transporting a body from Italy to Poland. He stopped in Munich for food and the car was gone when he returned. Police officers on the scene suspected the undertaker had imbibed on his lunch break, leading to a lapse in memory. Still, they requested witnesses to report any information on the car, which a spokesperson said, “looks like your classic hearse… it can’t be that hard to miss.”
This isn’t one isolated incident. In fact, China has such a rampant funeral stripper problem in cities like Handan that the government has intervened. Apparently, some citizens have been inviting burlesque performers to funerals to draw bigger crowds, and thereby secure a sign of good luck for the deceased in the afterlife. This has led to women removing their bras right next to memorial photos, in full view of children. As The Wall Street Journal points out, the problem isn’t unique to China. Taiwan also hosts high-heeled exotic dancers at funeral services.
Someone Gave The Funeral Director A Concussion
It’s one thing to criticize the funeral director for flower or upholstery choices. It’s quite another to give him a concussion. Joseph Gorgone flew into a rage at his great-aunt’s Manhattan funeral when the funeral director posed a question. What he asked is a matter of debate, though. Gorgone contends that the director, Peter DeLuca, inquired inappropriately inquired about his mother’s health — as if he were sniffing around for future customers. DeLuca, however, says he was delicately asking about the funeral bill for Gorgone’s father. The whole fight was apparently caught on video, but the case is seemingly still unsettled.
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