About a week before my mom died, she asked me not to leave her side. She was in a hospital cot next to her actual bed at home. I stayed with her, slept in her bed next to her cot at night, and would often lay my arm across the 12 inches of air space between us, letting my skin touch her skin so she knew I was there when she stopped talking and opening her eyes. But after several days of this, I got restless. I took breaks and watched episodes of LOST in the living room. I delayed my return to her bedroom. I took phone calls outside.
Blog Archive: April 2013
Welcome to the Everplans Blog where we cover everything from Duck Dynasty to Death Over Dinner.
In the May issue of The Atlantic, Jonathan Rauch looks into the work of two doctors, Dr. Angelo Volandes and his wife Dr. Aretha Delight Davis, who are making a series of videos to help people make better end-of-life decisions. The videos are a response to what Dr. Volandes believes is "the most urgent issue facing America today...people getting medical interventions that, if they were more informed, they would not want."
Friend-of-Everplans Mark Dimor is producing a documentary that we think is both powerful and important. The film is inspired by the experience Mark had of caring for his wife Donna after she was diagnosed with Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer and given six months to live. Donna immediately began receiving palliative care, which helped her live comfortably and without suffering for three years after her diagnosis—and helped Mark "focus on Donna—not her passing."
I graduated from business school four months after my mother died. Shortly before graduation weekend, an out-of-town friend called me and said that she wanted to come to my graduation. She insisted that I not feel pressured to include her in any pre-planned activities; she just wanted to be there, watch me graduate, and give me a hug afterward. She never directly said that she wanted to come because of my mother’s death or because she wanted to support me during a weekend punctuated by proud parents and family revelry. But her message was loud and clear.